5 Mistakes New Stay-at-Home Parents Make and how to avoid them (from experience)
Mistake 1: Trying to Do Everything Perfectly
Problem: Feeling like you must clean, cook, entertain, and educate perfectly… then the cat comes down demanding attention and ruins everything!
Personal: “I spent hours making perfect lunches, cleaning schedules, eating schedules, shopping schedules… my life looked like a beautiful Pinterest board from the outside.”
Advice: Look, social media only shows the amazing parts of parenting, staying at home, and organization. It’s all lies (well, mostly). I do have good organization, but if my daughter starts to scream for no reason… I don’t remember seeing that on my daily planner! Learn to prioritize, stop the “shoulds” from screaming, and your self-made apple crumble can wait another day. Accept the imperfections of daily life, and remember: done is better than perfect.
Mistake 2: Forgetting Self-Care
Problem: New stay-at-home parents often neglect themselves. Simple.
Personal: “I went a week without a proper shower, thinking it was heroic. It wasn’t.” As a male, and I can speak for a lot of us, we smell… a lot. But we also just forget to take showers sometimes. Not a big deal… unless you ask my wife.
On a serious note, it’s important to take care of yourself. Neglecting self-care can lead to loneliness and depressive symptoms (I know from experience). Plus, we all know that amazing feeling after a “supreme wash” (that’s what I call a full body wash—hair included, don’t judge, it’s an inside joke).
Advice: Schedule small breaks, ask for help, and keep little self-care routines daily. It only takes a few minutes to wash your face and feel fresh. Evenings are great too—once the little ones are in bed, take some “you-time” to relax. You deserve it.
Mistake 3: Not Asking for Help / Trying to Do It Alone
Problem: Feeling like you should handle everything yourself. “It’s your job.”
Personal: “I refused my partner’s offer to help with anything. She would always offer, but I would always decline, even though I was exhausted. All this leads to frustration and a bad mood for the rest of the day!”
Advice: Utilize any help you can and learn to say YES. It doesn’t make you weak—it just makes you human. I still struggle with this, and I probably always will. I’m not an expert, just a dad going through the motions like you all.
Mistake 4: Ignoring Social Interaction
Problem: Isolation can creep in quickly. (I’m the worst for this.)
Personal: “I went days without adult conversation besides ‘Can you pass the wipes?’” Personal interactions have always been difficult for me, let’s call it my ‘lack of social skills.’
Advice: Join local groups, connect online, or schedule calls with friends. (Cliché, I know, but it works.) The scariest part is reaching out initially. There are some cool apps where you can meet like-minded parents—I think one is called “Meetup.” You have the internet if you’re reading this, so go find it yourself! :)
Mistake 5: Underestimating Emotions
Problem: Emotional highs and lows hit hard—joy, frustration, guilt, laughter—all in one day.
Personal: “One minute I was playing make-up with my daughter, the next she’s wiping her snot all over me, then crying because I need to wipe her nose… All within five minutes. Emotions change, yours included! Learn to adapt.”
Advice: Normalize your feelings, journal, and talk to others in your shoes. There aren’t many stay-at-home dads at the moment, so we’re a bit ‘niche.’ I like to think we’re an exclusive club of amazing, awesome superheroes—but we’re just dads. Take that for what you will.
I like to step out of the room for 30 seconds or so and take a deep breath… although usually, I have a toddler pulling at my legs. Mainly now, I write in this blog, which really calms me down.
I know I’m missing a lot, so it would be great for you to post your mistakes too. Be vulnerable! It might help someone—and that’s all I want this post to accomplish.
