The School Run, A Completely Calm and Measured Reflection, Definitely not a Rant!

Picture the scene:

It’s 8:45am. Arctic. My face hurts. I’ve just dropped Elsie at nursery and I’m already fragile because I hate winter on a personal level. I’m heading to my parents’ for our Friday ritual, Coffee.

I approach the school stretch thinking, “This isn’t actually that bad today.”

That sentence should be illegal.

Suddenly a car halts in front of me like it’s been struck by divine intervention. Door flings open. Child ejects. No warning. No indicator. Just child.

I inhale. I am a father. I am patient. I am… absolutely not patient.

Then someone slices in front of me to gain a tactical advantage of roughly three inches. Three inches! We’re not storming the beaches of Normandy, Sue. It’s primary school.

Now I’m weaving through a tunnel of parked cars on both sides, mirrors praying for themselves.

And here’s the best bit: every single driver thinks every other driver is the problem.

Including me.

Especially me.

So, in the spirit of growth and self awareness, here are my official Dad Guidelines for Surviving the School Run:

• Leave earlier.
• Park slightly further away. Your legs still work.
• Remember we are transporting children, not competing in a low-speed Grand Prix.
• And finally… don’t be a di—

Be considerate.

Right. Rant over. See you next Friday for copy and paste!