If My Toddler Wrote Honest Reviews…

Simple Request -

Ordered banana, arrived peeled.
I did not request peeled.

★★☆☆☆

Will have to explain next time…

Nugs and Beans -

“Dad made dinner.
Was fine.
Tasted good.

Beans touched nug.
Couldn’t eat that one…

Asked for white dip dip, got Red…

Would have preferred beige plate, got pink.
not sure he really tried tonight.

Ate it anyway.”

★★★☆☆

Getting Dressed -

Was warm anyway,
Now I’m wearing trousers.

Why,
0/10 freedom, unnecessary.

★☆☆☆☆

Dad’s Jokes -

★☆☆☆☆

He laughs before joke is finished.
Explains punchline.
Says ‘get it?’

I do not get it.

Shower -

Water fell from sky.
Confirmed was not raining outside.

Confused.
Hair got wet.

I fell over, not safe

☆☆☆☆☆

Scaring Dad -

“Ran behind, shouted ROAR.’
He fell over.

Power dynamic confirmed.”
Would recommend.

★★★★★

Being Told I’m a ‘Big Girl’ -

Did nothing different.
Still praised.

Confidence heightened
Ego similar

Walked away, smug.

★★★★☆

Carried Like a Baby -

Was on the couch, now in mums arms,
Quite warm.

Face placed into shoulder.
Mouth wide open

Good service

★★★★☆

Would do again.

Toilet trip -

Human waste chair, too high
Quite warm.

Button made loud noise
Scared me

★★☆☆☆

May take some getting used to