Hobbies, Headspace and Having Time
Alright, fellow dads, let’s talk about the myth of the perfect balance. You know… the one where your kid naps on cue (2 pm for me, but more recently not at all…), your coffee is still hot, and you get to finally build that LEGO Death Star without someone stepping on a piece every 0.3 seconds. Yeah… that doesn’t exist.
Quick background: I’m 32, ASD, and officially ADHD-adjacent (some term I found online, makes me sound like I know what I'm talking about). Translation: I’m excellent at hyper-focusing on random things and terrible at finishing them. Hobbies? I change them faster than my toddler changes moods. And honestly? I don’t think the “perfect hobby at the perfect time in the perfect place” exists. Sorry, Pinterest.
So, are you saying stay-at-home dads have no time for themselves?
Absolutely not. But if you’re hoping for a spa day every afternoon… maybe lower your expectations slightly. Here’s my simple, humble advice for surviving—and occasionally thriving—in this chaos:
“LEARN TO JUGGLE”
Not literally, unless that’s your hobby (then, more power to you). I mean life, hobbies, tantrums, dishes, and somehow still keeping your brain from melting.
Here’s how I do it: take moments for yourself wherever you can. This might be:
An hour after the chaos of cleaning up toys
A quick coffee while the kid watches just one episode (we all know it’ll be three)
A full day when grandparents, nursery, or school are on duty
I like to call these moments:
“Get some shit done for yourself, or you’ll regret it later” moments.
Being ADHD-adjacent, planning is my secret weapon. I don’t always succeed—sometimes I miss my window and huff and puff like a toddler myself—but when I do, life feels a little calmer and a lot more controllable. It’s all about grabbing what you can, when you can, and not waiting for the stars to align.
So dads, how do we cope with hobbies and downtime? Honestly… imperfectly, chaotically, and with a lot of coffee. And hey, if your toddler walks in while you’re mid-podcast or mid-LEGO build, smile, wave, and know you’ll get another “me moment” eventually.
Let me know how you guys deal with this, and what your hobbies are, maybe we do the same “shit”.
Until next time.
